Although we see many Japanese women being in a relationship with non-Asian foreign men, we rarely see the opposite couple. Japanese men have a much more difficult time getting non-Asian foreign girlfriends and people often ask me why that is. It is true that most American women aren’t that attracted to East Asian men in general, and although I don’t have the specific data to back my statement, 90% of non-Asian American girls whom I know say they are not particularly attracted to East Asian men.
I have even taken an Asian family sociology course in college, and the professor passionately spoke about East Asian meals having to return to their roots in order to find the girls in their home countries. Because Asian girls in America are taken. Well, if you live in other countries such as Europe, you can share the story with me and I would love to hear from you.
So what is preventing Asian men from getting non-Asian girlfriends? Physical attraction is the first thing that comes to my mind. In America, East Asian men’s popularity remains low. And these girls say that they aren’t just into East Asian men (Chinese, Korean, Japanese) and aren’t physically attracted to them. Ouch! But of course there are some non-Asian girls who would love to date Asian men for other reasons so I do not want to say everybody hates East Asian men because it is not the case. But for Japanese men, it is very tricky because there are some serious issues that can interfere with Japanese men approaching non-Asian women.
1) Shyness: Japanese men tend to be shy. They are generally reserved and quite frankly they don’t know how to treat non-Asian women.
2) Gaijin complex: This isn’t about racism but Japan is such a homogenous country so Japanese men are not used to hanging out with non-Asian women and they don’t really know how to approach these women who seem to be more confident and assertive.
3) Physical appearance: Even though you want to date a Japanese man, he might not want you if you are taller and bigger than him. Japanese people tend to have a very petite frame and Japanese men are generally attracted to skinny women who are shorter than men. It is everywhere and it’s a general assumption. But there are lots of tall guys in the west and feeling physically unattractive, Japanese men don’t really want to embarrass themselves by asking non-Asian women out.
4) Language barrier: Again there are people who speak fluent Japanese but if you don’t, Japanese people tend to not speak good enough English so the communication could be an issue. There are always ways around it and it could be refreshing to date someone from completely different background from yours and all but it gets very old soon if you guys cannot understand each other.
5) Japanese men tend to prioritize his work over their significant others and this might be an issue for western women especially.
6) Lack of PDA: PDA stands for public display of affection. Japanese men tend to be reserved and although he may really like his non-Asian girlfriend, he may not necessarily show that affection in public because it is considered kind of taboo to kiss and hug in public.
Nevertheless it is possible for Japanese men and non-Asian women to have a long-term relationship which may even turn to a successful marriage. But it is important for non-Asian women to learn more about Japanese culture and not always judge Japanese men based on their own cultural standards. Actions speak louder and I can say that there are many Japanese men who are extremely loyal and committed to their significant others and wives. but if you have never dated a Japanese man from Japan, there are cultural differences and language barriers you will need to overcome in your relationship. Anything is possible, right? That’s how I see it.
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