This is going to be really hard for me to write without pausing for a few minutes…Once I remember her cute young face and our last conversations, the tears just start falling down on my face. I felt helpless, useless..whatever the word you could call me.
I was pissed at myself for not being able to just to take her in as part of our family.
I met M chan (changing name to protect the identity of this person)in my grade school. We were both in 5th year. She was short, had a beautiful creamy skin and her cheeks were always rosy. I thought she was adorable. We were 11 years old but I did notice that she was way too short for her height.
I had spent a couple of months getting to know her as part of the group. Everybody loved her. She was a classic A type girl. She did so well in all subjects and she ran the fastest and did so well in physical education.
I remember starting at her..then wonder why she sometimes looks really sad. Like she doesn’t say..it’s almost as if she drifts off into the another world..then after a while she comes back.
Naturally.She and I started to become closer. We both liked coloring and she started to come to my house to do some paint project together. She praised my house and one day, I caught her laying on my bedroom floor and she mum “this is all I need…I don’t need futon or blanket or bet..just have a place to lay here on the floor.” I was young but felt something was not right.
I asked M chan if everything was ok. She didn’t tell me the whole story but my house was in a new housing district but her area is government funded apartments for low income people and the area is pretty bad.
We then move onto the same notorious public school together. I was happy to be with M chan but I was not looking forward to this middle school. This junior school was led by the son of Yakuza family and everybody witnessed and experienced things children should have never had to deal with in the first place
Then M chan started to call in sick. I was no longer spending a lot of time with her because she was delivering newspaper to pay for her tuition. We went to public elementary, junior high snd high school..Lunch fees were so cheap but M chan’s parents were very poor.
what infuriated me the most is that her alcoholic father steals her hard earned cash…She was getting up 5:00am every morning to deliver the news paper. M chan was very private and she never wanted to talk about her personal life as it was getting worse at that point.
She did tell me her brother left her and helpless mother. Whenever M chan made an urgent phone call, I felt like I had to answer her call and I had no problem letting her stay with me I love M chan..I miss her terribly to this date. 🙁 But my mother said no. After a while, her father started to knock on our door thinking that M chan is with me.
M chan never told me where she acutlly moved to out of privacy issue but I felt like she has met a boyfriend..she is a very pretty girl so I wouldn;t be surprised. But she reminds me of my old small Japanese friend who have been theough so much,. time flew by but I will keep hoping oour paht will come aross one day. M chan, I love you..
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