Nightmare that I have..

I have recurring nightmares..

Well, it is really silly, but these dreams are really real to me.

I wake up sweating and my heart is beating fast.

So what kind of nightmare is that? You may not think it is a nightmare..but to me, it is a pretty bad dream.

I get a phone call from my high school teacher.

He goes, “Well, Nakata you didn’t finish high school. You must complete high school. If not, your college degree in the US will be cancelled.”

It makes no sense. Are you serious? But I did graduate from college and even have my diploma.

“It doesn’t matter. You need to finish high school..”

Then I put on my high school uniform (it was actually kind of cute)..then ride my bicycle and go to the same high school..but I am just much older.

Then I go to my classroom..everybody is looking at me. “Who is this old woman?”

I wake up sweating..

I am glad that this is just a dream and that I don’t have to go back to my high school..

Why do I worry about my high school?

Actually I barely graduated from high school. I went to a competitive academic high school. We learned college level science, math for the first two years of high school and then all we did was take practice college entrance exams…

We even had to go to school on the weekend and there were other reasons why I absolutely hated my third year homeroom class. I probably missed school at least for three months or even more.

My teacher was calling my parents, and they did give up on me. I still remember his frustrating voice over the phone..”You won’t make it..do you understand how difficult it will be for you to move to the US..? You are just doing whatever you want but it doesn’t work that way!”

Well, I understand and appreciated his concerns but I definitely made the right decision for myself..and hopefully I will never have that nightmare..and maybe I can put an end to my recurring bad dreams.

“You didn’t graduate from high school. Your college degree in the U.S. will be taken away unless you finish high school!”, says my homeroom teacher.

OMG, it is always this dream..

Why do I have this dream? Did I not really finish high school?

I actually barely finished high school. I just didn’t feel like going to my high school in my senior year so I literally didn’t go to school for at least three months. In terms of education, I had learned enough.

I went to a fairly competitive academic oriented high school in Japan. Our first two years was focused on cramming and we finish college level math, science..our third year was dedicated to practice exam..

I just did’t feel the point of taking these exams, knowing that I was messing up. Also, spending time with the same classmates 40 hours a week..literally in the same classroom started to stress me out.

Whatever…I am so glad that I did finish high school and actually my teacher did create an English transcript for me so I am SO thankful for him.

My high school was all about “numbers”…how many kids manage to get into “national” or prestigious “private” universities..and my question was…then what? I study hard to get into a famous university, studying social science..then what?

I didn’t want that for myself. I was always the kind of person who didn’t like to do what other people were doing…and we all have missions that are right for us and I did the right thing..for myself. About five years ago, I was still questioning my decision to have left my Japanese boyfriend to go to college, and essentially moved to a new land for good.

I was lucky but I felt that strongly about leaving Japan. A lot of good and bad things had happened to me growing up in the countryside of Japan but these things have made me who I am today..

I am extremely thankful that these dreams are just nightmares..not reality. Nobody is going to tell me to return to school with uniform..! If that really happened, I don’t know what I would be doing..it is pretty interesting.