One thing Japanese women wouldn’t like


There is one thing Japanese women wouldn’t feel comfortable when dating American men. I would have loved to compare us with other western guys or men in different parts of the world but I had lived my first 20 years in Japan then moved to the U.S. So I am going to talk specifically about American men.

Japanese people are very sensitive about body odor in general. So it is customary for people to take a bath or take a shower to clean their body so it won’t bother their partner. I had very limited dating experiences back home so I was quite surprised learn that American people don’t always take a shower before sleeping together. hum..it is because sex is often spontaneous and it kills the mood.

But I still HAVE to take a shower and bet most Japanese women feel the need to clean themselves before sleeping with their boyfriend. This sense of shame doesn’t really disappear just because you have been in a long term relationship with your boyfriend. It is a customary and also a courtesy to take a shower before the act.

Do both Japanese men and women do it? Not necessarily. Women are the ones who do this and Japanese men know about this so they usually ask their girls if they want to use his shower. Hum..

The thing is that nobody taught me I should take a shower before sex. I don’t remember how I learned either actually and I talked to my best friend living in Japan about my experiences and she was surprised that American men seem to care less about the shower part.

I interviewed some American men whom I know in real life and they say that they have never really taught of that and they all agree that it is a good practice and understand why Japanese people do that. It’s just that most guys in the US don’t care because..and I will leave it up to you to decide whether Japanese people are too sensitive.

I think it is just a matter of preference. Don’t you think?

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  • haole

    I’m an American guy who likes to take shower before sleeping with someone , but there are times when
    sex just happens spontaneously like maybe in a car or outside, etc.

    • Yes that is true. It is a common sense for Japanese people and probably the same for other Asian people but every country has different customs that are different from what we are used to. I think it is all about compromise.

  • lona0540

    I lived and studied in Japan for about 5 1/2 yrs. I was in my early 20’s, & eager to learn the language, culture, customs. Dating & otherwise socializing was the greatest learning tool & I totally immersed myself into the “Japanese” way of life. I cannot speak for everyone, but personal hygiene is something that was taught from a very young age in my family. Showering before going to bed was pretty routine. Early on in an intimate relationship, sex is very spontaneous, after work, at lunch, before dinner, just about whenever the mutual feelings took us to that wonderful place in a relationship. I don’t think I would get that far if the person who caught my attention had a body order problem. Because I commuted by train and subway, It just seemed to be common sense to have respect for others when it comes to personal hygiene. I would bet that most of us who have used mass transit in Japan have crossed paths with someone who did not pass the “Clean Smell Test” on the subway. However, I cannot recall a time where this was a problem while I lived in Japan. And I really don’t think a “Gaijin” would have a successful or pleasant dating experience in Japan if personal hygiene was an issue.

    • Yes..spontaneous sex does not seem to work in Japan because Japanese people normally take a shower before having sex. In America, that can really kill the mood and I was in that situation before when I was in my early 20s. ^_^; American guy looking at me..like what is wrong with this girl?