10 Good, The Bad about living in the U.S.

I cannot believe that I have lived in the U.S. for almost half of my life now. Time surely goes by very quickly, and it seems to be the case as you get older. When I was a kid, time went by slowly and I dreamed of growing up fast so I could leave my home to become independent. Well, here I am and I do live my dream. Not perfect but life is pretty good and I can’t complain. My life here in California is drastically different from my old life in the countryside of Japan. Culture is different, people are different and it seems that everything is different.

My Japanese friends back home curiously ask what’s like to live in California. Life in California is very different from life in New York, Mid West so I can only talk about the west coast and the general stuff. But I am liking my life here better than the old one. “Do you plan to live in the U.S. permanently? People ask me all the time..but for now, yes.”

Pros:

1. Less pressure as a woman in the U.S. Women are still discriminated and are supposed to be paid less than men even in this country but it is not as bad as the discrimination women faces in Japan. I feel less judged for being a woman of a certain age. This is huge..for me.

2. Everything is more spacious here in the U.S. for obvious reasons. The country is bigger than Japan. Houses are bigger, streets are much wider..office space has more privacy and usually more spacious than the ordinary office space that I saw in Japan.

3. No hierarchical relationship. Well, we still have to be respectful towards others but it is much less rigid in the U.S.  In Japan, you have to worry about the other person’s age and the status. Based on that, you have to know your position in relation to the other person. That’s when you determine whether to use “Keigo” (polite words) or “tamego” (casual words). We do that here in America too but it is nothing like Japan. In Japan, you have to usually call people by their last names and human relations can be much more complicated. You may need to use “Keigo” when you talk to someone the same age as you especially in the beginning.

4. It is not my problem. American people especially in Southern California say this all the time. It does sound very cold and I still can’t be that way because I tend to worry about other people’s problems as my own. There are people like me here in California but generally this attitude of not worrying about other people’s business or not taking other people’s issues seriously makes our life easier.

5. People tend to smile when they have eye contact. It doesn’t mean anything but I personally prefer fake smiles over serious faces.

There are many other good things about the U.S. but I would stop here.

Now, let take a look at disadvantages of living in the U.S.

Cons:

1. Long Line and Inefficiency: I hate going to DMV, grocery stores, department stores in the U.S. It seems like people aren’t even trying to work efficiently at their level. They are usually chatting with other coworkers in one grocery store that I go to. I always make sure to schedule an appointment with DMV before even going there because the wait is a nightmare. Clerks at DMV seem unhappy with their jobs and you could be sitting there all day long just to take the picture taken for your driver’s license.

2. Very Diverse: I like diversity and enjoy meeting people from different cultures and backgrounds but it was initially difficult for me to make friends because it was a little overwhelming for me and other Japanese people to find local friends. Eventually I met a couple of American girlfriends in college and we clicked but it could be a little overwhelming especially for Japanese people who have never lived in a diverse environment. I list this as “disadvantage” but for me, I wanted to go to more diverse place to live because I am Hafu. It really depends but some Japanese people say California is too diverse.

3. Terrible Customer Service: American customer service isn’t generally as good as Japanese customer service so you do have to lower your expectations. If you go to any convenience store, clerks are very helpful, polite and efficient but your experiences would be very different in most of the convenience stores in the U.S. (Seven Eleven, AmPm etc). Customer service is much more relaxed here in the U.S.

4. Tips: You don’t have to but you are expected to give tips to the servers at the restaurants, valet parking..anything you can think of. I don’t tip at a coffee shop unless they bring the food and clean up after me but I always tip at the restaurants in the U.S. I also give tips to my hair stylist. But tips do start to add up so it hurts a little.

5. Job Stability: This really depends on the field you are in but just like I said about “this is not my problem” mentality, American employers don’t value loyalty and hard work as much as Japanese companies would have valued. People are fired at will and there are various reasons that lead to dismissal but inefficiency and incompetence are not generally tolerated in American companies.